Changes
by Lattelady
Summary: ArcherT'Pol romacne. ch 2 is up. Takes place late in second year. ch 1, for T'Pol, one moment can change everything. Ch 2 for Jon, a choice can make all the difference.
1. Changes T'Pol

Disclaimer:  I don't own it; otherwise there would be a lot more Arch/T'Pol scenes in the episodes!

Spoilers:  Broken Bow I & II, Cold Front, Shadows of P'Jem

Rating:  PG-13.  Do I write anything else, lately?

Changes

**_By_**

Lattelady 

T'Pol sat staring into her meditation candle.  Tonight the flames did not bring about the easy focus of mental energy that was necessary to cleanse her mind, and submerge her emotions.  Instead they danced and teased, splitting her thoughts into two portions.  One, the emotionless, dispassionate Vulcan she had always been.  The other, a woman she hardly recognized.

What had caused this other woman to appear, and when had she begun to emerge?  Her mind grasped the questions and began stripping away memories like layers of old paint.  _A_ _beginning, she was looking for a beginning_. When her thoughts bumped up against something strong and solid, she knew she had found it; the last moment she had belonged wholly to herself, a singular, logical Vulcan, sure of her place in the universe.

The picture in her mind was bright and clear. Enterprise had been two days out from Earth.  She had been cold, with melted snow in her hair that had added to the chill. They were in a shuttlepod; Captain Archer had been wounded and had just passed out. _Her_ _stomach clenched as she remembered his red blood seeping from the hole in his leg, and_ _how pale he had appeared_.  She had announced her plans to take over command while he was incapacitated.  She could feel the thoughts as she remembered them.  _They were going back to Earth. Vulcan would prove its point; the Humans were not ready to travel beyond their solar system!_

Then it had happened.  Her next step, her next decision had been the beginning.  She had listened to Commander Tucker's softly accented words as he told her, '_Cap'n Archer needs to finish what he starts.'_  Because of that, they had gone after the Suliban and Klaang, instead of back to Earth.  _But it had been such a small misstep?  How could it have been the cause of all the changes?_

Leaning over she blew out her candle and placed it carefully on the desk, before moving quietly to the bathroom.  With the lights at 50% she examined the woman who looked back at her from the mirror over the sink.  On the outside she looked almost the same as the T'Pol who had boarded Enterprise for an eight-day mission, almost two years ago.  It was the inside that had changed.

That long ago decision to carry out Captain Archer's wishes and continue after the wounded Klingon, then the one to remain on Enterprise in a permanent capacity, were where she had begun to waiver.  But that was not what she was looking for.  She was looking for the exact moment when it had all become irrevocable.  An indelible change that would lead to the person she had become.

Had it been when she refused to return home and bond with Koss?  Or when she had awakened in sickbay after being wounded by a rebel's phase bullet.  She had known she was expected to leave Enterprise and go back to Vulcan to answer for the trouble at P'Jem, weeks earlier.  She had also known, what Captain Archer and Dr. Phlox had known, that she had been more than ready to leave sickbay.  But they had all pretended that it was in the best interest of her health to remain, therefore keeping her on the Earth vessel.

"T'Pol," Jonathan Archer's voice broke into her thoughts as he climbed out of his bed and moved to the bathroom door.  "Are you all right? You usually come straight to bed after meditating."

Her eyes met his, as he moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back snugly against his bare chest.  She enjoyed the feel of his skin against hers as she rested the back of her head on his shoulder. 

"I was looking for some answers."  She whispered when his lips moved over the tip of her ear and down her neck to her shoulder. 

"Anything I can help you with?"  He propped his chin on her head and enjoyed the vision of the two of them that was reflected back in the mirror.

"I believe you already have."  She turned her face to the side and kissed the bare skin that sent tingles through her body.  

"And how is that?" His fingers moved aside the strap of the Earth style nightgown she had chosen to wear tonight.

"By being the man you are."  For a moment their eyes met in the mirror, and she knew, she had all the answers she needed.  It had not been _a when_, but _a who_, that had changed everything for her.  Even back as far as her first few days on Enterprise, Jonathan Archer had been at the center of all her decisions. There had been no misstep along the way.  

"I'm glad you approve."  He could tell that she had been troubled, but he wouldn't push her, she'd tell him in her own good time, she always did.  For now he'd settle for the passion that was clearly written on her face and the smile that didn't appear, anywhere but in her eyes. "Because, you know, I love you."  He whispered as he nuzzled her neck, and his busy hands worked to remove her gown.

"Hmmm," she gasped as she felt strong frantic Vulcan desire heat her blood and send out a mental grasp that would soon engulf the two of them.  But unlike the madness that accompanied a pure mating of her species, there was the soothing mental reply of the Human emotion love, which always astounded and amazed her.  It bound her to him as a normal Pon Farr never could. "I love you, Jonathan."  Her whisper spilled from her lips and moved through their minds as he carried her to bed.

**To Be Continued**__


	2. Choices Jonathan

Ch. 2 Choices

By Lattelady 

Jonathan Archer lay on his back, his hands behind his head.  Something was worrying T'Pol.  He'd seen it in her eyes in that split second after she dropped the Vulcan mask that she presented to the world, but just before she relaxed and let the knowledge flow to the surface that she was no longer alone.  If that hadn't been telling enough, the extra time she was spending in meditation would have been a sure sign to him that something was bothering her.

He smiled gently as he thought of the woman who was quietly meditating beside his bed.  In the last year she'd let him see the two women who made up her personality, and he loved them both:  the Sub-Commander and T'Pol!  She was an unusual dichotomy of woman, and the struggle she seemed to be fighting to reconcile both sides of her personality made her all the more dear to him.  She was Vulcan and always would be.  Logic was at the center of her universe, but lately it had been pushed aside to make room for an emotion she had neither wanted, nor understood:  love. 

It had been a tough year for them, but a revealing one.  He'd known for a long time that he desired her, but the feelings that had crept up unawares had caught him unprepared.  He supposed it had started when they had gone after Menos.  That was the first time she'd let down her barriers enough for him to see the woman she hid from the universe.  She had needed him and he had been there for her.  

In reality it all had come down to choices, he thanked God that he'd made the right ones.  There'd been too many times that he'd almost chucked it all, and closed her out completely.  He thought back with horror to how close he'd come to brushing her off that night when she had come to his quarters to ask for help on her mission to retrieve the Vulcan renegade.  It had been such a close thing, but his actions had changed their lives, because he was sure that if he'd pushed her away as he'd first wanted, they wouldn't be where they were now.  He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, to fight the memory, but it bubbled to the surface none the less.

………………………..

He'd been sitting on his bed, bouncing his ball against the bulkhead in frustration when she had come.  He had almost yelled at her to go away, when she rang the bell.  He'd been hurt and angry that she'd cut him out of the loop.  It had felt too much like old times, with the Vulcans pulling the strings.  When Enterprise had left McKinley Station he'd vowed that would never be the case again, but there they had been, about to play errand boy for the high and mighty High Command, and hadn't even known what it was all about!

When he had relented and let her in, his plan had been to take his feelings of impotence out on the Vulcan he had nearest him, T'Pol.  He remembered the cutting way he'd offered her a chair.  Knowing how hard she fought to keep from being bothered by the smell of his dog, he'd told Porthos to move aside, and her to sit where the animal had been.  He remembered thinking that if he had to endure an uncomfortable conversation with her; she was going to be made as physically uncomfortable as he was emotionally.  

But there had been no pointed looks at Porthos, or pinched expression of disapproval around her mouth.  She had taken the seat across from him, and quietly asked for his help.  That had been the first time she'd dropped her Vulcan mask, and she'd never been able to put it completely back in place in his presence.

During their two-day mission to retrieve Menos, again and again she'd turned to him, her Human Captain for support.  At first it had surprised him, then he realized she really needed him.  It had pierced his heart to see the always-strong, self-assured woman vulnerable.

That's when everything fell into place.  All the choices he'd made from the very beginning began to make sense.  Even as far back as Earth and Star Fleet Medical, where he'd first met her, and been unable to get her face out of his mind.  It hadn't been just any Vulcan he'd agreed to take on board his ship, in trade for star charts, it had been the cool beautiful woman who had defied and challenged him, at the same time she'd intrigued him.

………………………..

He could hear T'Pol moving quietly beside the bed, as she blew out her meditation candle, and moved through the room. It was late and the wedge of light from the partially opened bathroom door cut a path across the foot of his bed. A slight fragrance from her candle waft through the air.  It always amazed him that he could smell it so much stronger, after she extinguished it, then when it was burning on the floor, three feet from his side of the bed. This was one of his favorite parts of the evening.  Soon she would be sliding beneath the covers and curling her body against his. It was their time.  The cares of running Enterprise momentarily put away until the morning, or the next emergency, whichever came first.

………………………….

"Were they really choices, or just a series of growing steps, as we moved closer to one another?" He muttered to himself, as he thought of all the decisions, large and small that had brought them to this moment.  His blind belief in her when the landing party had been trapped on a stormy planet, in the early weeks of the mission.  It would have been a simple thing to listen to Trip, his friend of years, and fall back on old prejudices against Vulcans, but he hadn't.  He'd listened to the weak com-signal from the planet, which carried her voice, and had chosen her.  In the end it had been a decision that had saved the lives of everyone on the mission, and brought her one step closer to him. 

Smiling he remembered another choice, his decision to go to P'Jem.  What on the surface appeared to be an uncomplicated plan, but in reality it had started him down a new path that was leading straight to T'Pol.  First there had been the simple sharing of a blanket. Then weeks later he had had to fight to keep her on his ship. He'd even lied straight-faced to a high-ranking member of the Vulcan Command.  But none of that had mattered.  As he had sat beside her unconscious form in sickbay, all he'd been able to think about was the feel of her body as he'd picked her up off the ground and the sight of green blood that had stained her uniform.  It had clutched at his heart and frozen his insides.

Though there was another choice he'd made, that he'd give a great deal to be able to undo: when he'd shoved T'Pol at Tolaris.  At the time he'd been confused and unsure of his actions.  He'd justified them by telling himself that she had needed to see that Vulcans could live with both emotions and logic, but it had gone much deeper than that.  He knew now that he'd looked at it as a win-win situation.  She would either learn about emotions, and he would win because she'd be able to return the feelings he was hiding from himself, as well as her, or she would go off with Tolaris. Then he'd win because he couldn't get in any deeper, and end up with a broken heart over a woman he couldn't have.  But in the end they'd both lost.  She had been hurt and he had ended up more deeply involved than ever.  

But by the time he'd found out Tolaris had given her Pa'nar Syndrome, he knew there was no win or lose; only T'Pol mattered. He'd almost told her all that he'd been feeling then; it'd been a close thing.  If it had gone differently with the Vulcan Medical Board, he would have.  He'd had a back-up plan in mind from the beginning.  If the Vulcans had tried to enforce their ruling and take her away, he'd decided to make a run for it in Enterprise.  All the other ships at the Interspecies Medical Exchange Conference had been smaller, science vessels.  With a good head start, and a little planning they could have gotten away.  That was a choice he hadn't told her about, because he knew she would fight him on it.  But he hadn't given a damn, at the time.  By then he already knew she was his, and they were not going to take her away without a fight! 

Smiling, he thought about the final choice that had led to this room and this night.  It was the evening he and Trip had returned from the prison ship that would have taken them to Canamar, he'd been exhausted, and gone to bed after Phlox had given him medical clearance.  He remembered coming suddenly awake after only a few hours of sleep.  For a while he didn't know what had awakened him, until, laying very still he became aware of someone else in the room.  Instantly he had known, he'd recognized her deep even breathing, because it had happened once before.  The night he and Malcolm had gotten back after being almost hanged, when they'd returned to a pre-warp civilization to retrieve a communicator that had been left behind.  T'Pol, for reasons known only to the Vulcan had come to him.  She'd slept quietly curled on his couch, but was gone by morning.

The first time he'd done nothing, he'd frozen, unsure of what he'd wanted or what she'd wanted.  This time, he knew he had had to find out. _The choice was his!_ He'd slipped quietly out of bed and crouched beside the sleeping women.  When he'd called her name softly, as he'd touched her shoulder, she'd sprung instantly awake and into his arms. He didn't know who was more surprised by her action, but she was finally where he'd wanted her for months, and he wasn't letting go easily.

That had happened three months ago, and since that night, she'd spent every night in his quarters, and his arms.  Again another choice, but it was the easiest one of all.  Once he'd let her into his life completely he couldn't imagine being without her.  For the first time the Vulcan expression 'bonding' made absolute sense to him.  Though they'd had no official words spoken over them, their union was more complete than if they'd been together 50 years. Give his age, that was about all the time he figured they'd have, but one way or another, he planned on spending as much of it with her as was physically possible.

…………………………

"T'Pol," Jonathan got up and moved quietly toward the partially opened door.  "Are you all right? You usually come straight to bed after meditation."

He couldn't take his eyes off of her, as she starred with wonder at her reflection in the mirror over the sink.  He moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him.  The low cut back of her Earth style nightgown allowed her silky skin to rub against his, and made him tingle with anticipation. 

"I was looking for some answers." Her soft breath moved against his cheek as she rubbed against the hair-roughened texture of his chest in a gesture that had become second nature to her.  In response he nibbled at a pointy ear he loved so much, then moved down to kiss her neck and shoulder as he let her words sink in.

"Anything I can help you with?"  He propped his chin on the top of her head.  Green eyes met green eyes in the mirror only a foot away.  _'We look so right together.' _ He smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around her, pulling her even closer.  The only thing that separated the soft warm contours of her body from his was jade silk.

"I believe you already have." She looked calm for the first time in days, as she sent soft kisses dancing across his shoulder until he groaned and gripped her even tighter.

"And how is that?" He muttered as he pushed aside the strap on her right shoulder and kissed her tender skin until she gasped and leaned against him for support.

"By being the man you are."  Their eyes met one last time in the mirror.  That had said it all, for her as well as him.

"I'm glad you approve."  She was his, they belonged together and that was all that mattered for the moment.  "Because, you know, I love you."  He whispered as he nuzzled her neck and his hands pushed aside the straps of her gown.  With a rush of silk and the groan of two people, it pooled at their feet on the floor.

He could hardly make out her verbal reply, but the mental one was strong and clear.  _She_ _loved him too_.  He picked her up and carried her back to their bed, as the fierce heat that always caught him by surprise when her emotions were allowed free reign, pulled them closer together.  But unlike anything he'd ever felt before, it was accompanied by the gentle touch of minds that bound him to her as no simple passion could have.  Tonight he felt her desires and her complete belief that to love him was the only logical course her life could have taken.  Smiling as his lips explored her body he knew his Vulcan was finally as at peace with the changes in her life, as he was with the choices he'd made.

**_The End_**

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Review always welcome!


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